People don't come out of nowhere. We grow out of a context of birth-culture and times. We are fruit from a garden of people, ideas and experiences. The results are the possibilities we can, in turn, create for others. I feel tremendous gratitude for how generously much I have been heartfully given and can, in turn, give away.
Taking on this challenge of sharing who has beneficially influenced my life - as a way of paying respects and honoring my good fortune rather than keeping it mysteriously secret - has forced me to acknowledge the volume and diversity of love showered upon me over the years.
I encourage you to try something similar: share about who has blessed you. It lightens the load of pretending you have figured it all out yourself.
...the rug has been pulled out from under western civilization
In a 10 year span, methane (CH4) is 84 times more powerful global greenhouse gas collector than carbon dioxide (CO2). When methane does degrade, it degrades into more carbon dioxide.
"So what?" you might ask again.
The greenhouse gas effects of methane have not been included in the IPCC's calculations on climate change.
"And?" you might ask. "So what?"
When the 1875 parts per billion (2020) - and rising - of atmospheric methane are actualized in global temperatures, it equates to over 16 C degrees hotter than now. Most of that increased solar heat has been absorbed by Earth's oceans, but the oceans cannot hold much more. This too was an IPCC oversight.
Plant pollination ceases to function at +4 C above pre-industrial temperatures.
Doomsday scenarios are not my thing... but personally, I would like people to be around 100 years from now to read my next thoughtware upgrade book...
Lee Lozowick published my books, sent me to France, took me to Spain and India, introduced me to Claudio Naranjo and Alexandro Jodorowsky, and wrote and sang some of my favorite music. Lee could consistently do things that I could not do, such as keep his In-Box immaculately empty.
I had the good fortunate to be in Yogi Ramsuratkumar's radiant presence twice, both times in Lee's company and by Lee's invitation. The first time was with a group of 10 men on a 30 day pilgrimage in Southern India, November/December 1990. The second time was a couple months before Yogi Ramsuratkumar passed in February 2001.
Almost every summer from 1995 until 2010 Lee invited me to accompany him on a visit to Hauteville, the French Ashram of this lovely, committed, intelligent, fiercely-sensitive man named Arnaud Desjardins, where Lee would deliver a week of Q&A sessions. Arnaud's dignity and nobility remains with me as an example to this day. It is no wonder that Arnaud was one of Lee's closest friends. Arnaud died in August 2011 not long after Lee died in November 2010.
I want to tell you a story about who Arnaud was for me. The last time I saw Lee in person was at the 2010 seminar at Hauteville. Arnaud's students traditionally celebrated the final day of the seminar with a goodbye feast in the courtyard. That is also the morning all remaining artifacts from Lee's Sacred Bazaar needed to be packed back into the vans. With two other students I moved as efficiently as I could all morning to get boxes to fit, but it took longer than usual. I swept up the floor just as the celebratory brunch ended. As was customary, Lee headed straight for his van to lead the caravan of cars back to La Ferme de Jutreau. Arnaud's students circled Lee to give him their 'farewell' hug. I rushed to the circle just as Lee was getting into his van. Lee saw me but it would have been undignified for him to stop his momentum, plus I was so grimy and sweaty. I waved from a distance as Lee drove off, then turned to hide the tears in my eyes, literally landing in Arnaud's open arms. Arnaud squeezed me tightly against his white shirt, suit coat, and broad chest, paying no attention to my dust and sweat. He saw the whole situation and did not hesitate an instant to be completely with me. This was Arnaud Desjardins.
Virginia (d. 2010) and
Clinton (d. 2011) Callahan
It is amazing how you might grow up not wanting to be anything like your mom or your dad and you end up being unavoidably somehow like both of them...
My father Clinton Jr. brought his wife Virginia Carol Stipek (whom he called 'Jinny') and his 3 sons westward, from the outskirts of Allentown, Pennsylvania to the outskirts of Los Angeles, California in a green Ford station-wagon with his aerodynamic hand-made cartop-sleeping-chamber we called 'The Thing' in 1957.
I was five.
Before others woke up one morning I went outside the Motel to play with my little stuffed Doggy. He and I discovered a hole in the cement and he wanted to go into it. Then my dad came out and said, "Time for breakfast!"
Forty-five minutes down the road from the Motel I remembered that my favorite stuffed animal friend was stuffed down a hole in the cement... Daddy would not turn the car around... Doggy is probably still down the hole.
Dad was a trouble-shooting mechanical engineer for McDonald Douglas aircraft company and related jobs most of his life. Mom was a... mom, and an amazing cook. She later became a librarian, a Job Corps teacher, and a Red Cross First Aid trainer.
In the first company I started, Computer Effects Company, I was an electro-mechanical engineer - just like my dad. Then I became a personal transformation trainer - just like my mom.
Virginia died in 2010. Clinton Jr. died in 2011.
Thomas 'Rick' Callahan (d. 2016)
My brother Rick, was born just fifteen months after me.
When they brought him home from the hospital I lost my status as the single focus-of-attention of my proud parents. In this way he probably saved my life.
As we got older and Rick became a person to me rather than just 'my little brother', he was completely generous in accepting my apologies for being such an asshole older brother to him when we were kids together.
Rick, a world-class sailor, built a life that most people can only dream of. Then suddenly he died of neck cancer 1 December 2016 in the home of Karen Kresch, my brother Lee's ex-wife.
In this photo Rick's sailboat 'Regardless' is peacefully anchored in the background at this pristine private coastline in the Sea of Cortez, Mexico.
Lee William Callahan
Conversations with my brother Lee challenge the mind. Is he joking? Or does he know what he is talking about and is just being patient with me by staying humorous?
For sure he is an edgeworker, disregarding all popular social values and living by self-established semi-Rastafarian conditions.
Lee is a fabulous cook and gardner, growing an orchard of olives in the Joshua Tree desert of Southern California.
In this photo you see his two genius daughters.
and other influential teachers and school friends
At Rolling Hills High School on the Palos Verdes Peninsula - a 'white' coastal suburb of Los Angeles, California - I stayed mostly invisible from 1967 to 1970. John McGeehee, my Physics teacher, reached out and invited me to do extra-credit experiments in the Physics Lab alone after hours and to show him my results. In this way I proved experimentally that gravitational mass and inertial mass are equivalent! Most people never discover this amazing thing about the design of this universe...
John's supportiveness influenced my choice upon High School graduation to complete a BS Degree in Physics at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo.
Other influential High School teachers include Mr. Medved (marine biology), and Mr. Van Waay (electronics).
At Malaga Cover Junior High School, I somehow knew that Mrs. Champion the math teacher, loved me. In those tough years this was a blessing.
And for some reason I can still remember the name of my first grade teacher Ms. Pinoniemi at Silver Spur Elementary School. This must mean something.
Influential school friends include Donny Worbeck, Mike Rafferty, David Teeter, Ross Van Orden, Jeremy Mucha, Johnny Rapillo, Danny Apoian, Bruce Shimizu, Doug Meyers, David Sweet, Luis Vandenberg, and my 'arch-enemy' Jimmy Baumann.
In 1970, graduated from High School, escaped from my parents' bubble, and enrolled at California Polytechnic State University in San Luis Obispo, California, I scanned the announcement boards like a hungry man drools over a restaurant menu. What attracted me first was Transcendental Meditation.
For a couple of weeks I ate scavenged Saltine crackers topped with ketchup packets and a paste made of crushed walnuts that I collected from under trees around town. In this way I could use my food money to pay the $35 fee for my mantra initiation. I did TM of TM in AM and PM (Twenty Minutes of Transcendental Meditation in the morning (AM) and evening (PM) until I switched to the meditation style of the Paramahansa Yogananda school.
Dr. Hafemeister, tenured Cal Poly Physics Professor is competent, relational, kind, nonlinear, and famous for making outlandishly accurate back-of-the-envelope calculations that impressed both me and the US government.
Many people have heard the quote, "A jack-of-all-trades is master of none."
What these people overlook is that a jack-of-all-trades is master of the Jack-Of-All-Trades Trade, and this profession is particularly suited to serving as a transformational edgeworker building bridges to next culture.
David Hafemeister values his own cross-disciplinary seat-of-the-pants off-the-cuff practical extemporaneous estimations enough to make useful real-world calculations. Somehow during classes and between-class conversations, David's trust of himself transferred over to me.
Other influential University professors include Grant Delbert Venerable (chemistry), and Jay Featherstone (mathematics).
Freeholders of the Flying Mantra from Starbow's End
In 1973 I moved out of the dormitories and off campus to live in my first self-made household with Jeremy Mucha, Jeffrey L. Baldwin, and Jerry Vosti. We called ourselves: Freeholders of the Flying Mantra from Starbows End.
At first we all ate together and whoever cooked the meal made the eating rules. This is when I learned to eat with chopsticks... while eating spaghetti... and feeding the person next to me while they fed me. (It was not a time to wear your best clothes.)
We built bunkbeds and all slept in the same room with a custom-made silent alarm system that would turn on a lightbulb in each person's face at a specified time face to wake them up and no one else. It was an astonishingly successful experiment, that is, until we started meeting women...
In 1973 the Feeholders attended a talk given on campus by Harvey Jackins, the originator of Co-Counseling, also called Re-Evaluation Counseling. By the end of the talk the Freeholders were hugging each other and everyone around us trying to get our minimum 6 hugs per day.
I remain a 'hugger' still now.
Lee Lozowick once passed on a comment that he received from his friend Arnaud Desjardins, who had possibly received it from his teacher Swami Prajnanpad. The comment was that while doing transformational work, "You need to actually touch people." This is one reason why, over the years, we have developed many powerful healing and transformation processes in Possibility Management in which physical contact is an integral component.
Also around 1973, Buckminster Fuller came to give a talk at Cal Poly. There must have been over 400 people in the auditorium as he hobbled across the stage to the podium using two crutches and wearing his signature bottle-bottom eye-glasses. Then he started talking. The presentation was advertised as an hour-long event. I found myself using every gram of my attention to stay present and focused so as to understand what Mr. Fuller was explaining. Before the hour was over people were leaving. I kept moving forward. It is not that every word he said made sense to me. It was that he was so committed to what he was trying to communicate to us that I had to listen. The hour came and went. Bucky never even slowed down. More and more people left the auditorium. I stayed to the end, three hours altogether, the only person still in the auditorium. When Bucky left the stage I couldn't even clap. I felt like a bug squashed flat against a windshield. (Some people might not even know what I am referring to with this metaphor. That's exactly what Bucky was afraid of. Before Monsanto sold RoundUp to farmers, there used to be so many bugs flying around the country you had to wash the windshield of your car every time you refilled your gas tank! Ask yourself what happened to them...) I recommend you read Bucky's books Grunch of Giants, and Critical Path.
I think R. Buckminster Fuller was wrong about one thing... when he told people we live on 'spaceship Earth'. We do not live on the Earth. We ARE the Earth! We are Gaia.
Bucky also said, "You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” This strategy shift took me out of politics and into gameworld building. Now I express the idea like this: "You never change things by fighting the existing gameworlds. You change things by building new gameworlds that make the existing gameworlds irrelevant."
The Cal Poly bulletin board revealed another doorway in 1974 when I discovered Silva Mind. Their advertisement promised a two-weekend workshop that would teach me to be psychic or my money back.
It was an offer I could not refuse.
I am so glad I had the courage to try this. John Magera was my trainer. I did not ask for my money back.
It worked perfectly.
What is 'funny' about this, is that at the same time, on the East Coast of America, in Orange, New Jersey, Lee Lozowick was a trainer for José Silva, teaching the Silva method in the same seminar that changed my life.
A few years later in Los Angeles, I got to participate in one-day seminar with José Silva along with my parents. What I remember most was overhearing a 12 year old girl explain to someone that she could bend spoons with her mind. My parents and I went to Denny's Diner for lunch where I stole one of their heavy-duty stainless-steel teaspoons. Back at the seminar I find the girl, hand her the spoon and say, "Please show me how you can bend this with your mind." She sits down quietly on carpeted stairs, focuses on the spoon while stroking it with one finger. In about ten minutes she hands it back to me, bent ninety-degrees on a tiny radius. I still have that spoon today.
Robert S. De Ropp's books below established the clarity in me that our various interactions with each other through organizations, institutions, governments, laws, communities and teams are actually all games.
In other words, here was the basis for my distinctions about gameworlds!
Living alone in San Diego, California, 1977 I learned that a comic and fantasy conference was to take place there. The fine print announces that if I pay for a meal I can apply to sit at a table with any of the invited speakers. To my surprise Robert and Virginia Heinlein are slated guests and I leap at the opportunity!
I arrive early to the lunch table. Robert is already seated, directly across from Virginia at the center of the table. Without hesitation I sit down in the empty chair directly to Robert's left. He looks at me and says, "That chair is reserved for some pretty woman." (Whoever she might have been, she never showed up and missed an amazing opportunity to have lunch next to Lazarus Long / Jubal Harshaw.) I slide over one chair to the left, then say, "May I ask you some questions?" I have a ton of them. Without hesitation Robert says, "Yes, you may. I will either tell you the truth, lie, or refuse to answer." Both he and I grin. Most of my questions he responds to with, "I refuse to answer..."
Ah, well. The pain of a Memetic Engineer is his endless supply of Dangerous Questions... The one question Robert does answer is, "Of all of the books you have ever written, which is your favorite?" I remember him looking me straight in the eyes and saying, "The one I am writing now!"
Neil Postman demonstrated how to take radical responsibility for bullshit. He could directly face all varieties of bullshit without flinching from its insanity because he was born and raised in New York City. When later I was delivering The Event training, New York City was only place I did not have to train people how to say, "NO!" Jewels from Neil's many precious books that helped a California boy grow up include:
"One man’s bullshit is another man’s catechism."
"Far and away, the greatest source of bullshit with which you must contend is yourself."
"Almost nothing is about what you think it is about – including you."
"The advantage that comes from our knowledge of the inevitability of our own death is that we know that whatever is happening right now is going to go away. Most of us try to put this thought out of our minds, but I am saying that it ought to be kept firmly there, so that you can fully appreciate how ridiculous most of your enthusiasms and depressions are."
"So you see, when it comes right down to it, crap-detection is something one does when you start to become a certain type of person." [Yes, when you start to become a 'Conscious Asshole'.]
with (left to right) Kat Felkner, Alan Friedman, Ed Clark, Phyllis Goldman, me, Fernando, Vira-Cruz (3 years old) and Adelfa Gastelum.
These are the courageous participants of the 1975 Thursday Night Meeting Group who wanted more and wanted it longer. We ended up borrowing a piece of land on the coast of Baja California between San José del Cabo, and Cabo San Lucas in the Fall of 1975.
All summer long I cut and dried fruit and veggies that we scavenged from the garbage bins behind supermarkets in San Luis Obispo. We collected used 20 Liter plastic pickle buckets from the hamburger place and each of us received one to stuff our entire personal belongings into.
We packed up Alan's classic Chevy Nova and Ed's red Toyota half-ton pickup and drove South over 2000 Kilometers. Lacking an accurate map for the land, we suspect that we never found the right place, but that did not matter. It was totally the 'right' place.
Directly on the beach, a kilometer or so from the closest area we could park the car, and nothing was there.
We carried hand-blown 5-gallon glass bottles on our shoulder for a kilometer to Rancho Campo. It was our only source of fresh water. We learned to bathe, brush teeth, cook, and wash clothes and dishes in salt water.
The rancher family, Fernando and Adelfa with their two young children, Fernandito and Elvira Cruz, were our closest neighbors and friends. We co-created so many memorable times together.
Rancho Campo was an experiment in synergetic education and temporary community. It worked miraculously well. I wrote an unpublished book about it called Seeds. This 1975 experiment proved to me that nanonations are possible.
Brenda Krieger Star
Brenda was my partner for 25 years. I met Brenda in 1978 because I put up a flyer in a healthfood store in Phoenix, Arizona advertising for the second Safespace Project that I was doing with Bob and Marilyn Miles . Brenda saw the poster and immediately became a member of the project.
The vision was to build a 65 foot catamaran to be used as a floating university and an example of peace and sanity.
Brenda and I left the project together in 1979. We sold our shares to newbies.
If it did not work to build a boat, we decided to save up our money and buy our own boat. After a couple of years saving money in San Jose, California, we realized that to go sailing through the South Pacific we did not need to build a boat or buy a boat, we only needed to be crew on a boat!
We learned that many people who sailed from California to Hawaii with the idea of exploring the South Pacific already hated each other by the time they reached Hawaii and needed new crew there! So we got married in 1980 and bought one way tickets to Hawaii in 1981, setting out on a journey to find something better than the USA. We did not return until two and a half years later, and by then we were pregnant! Brenda is a skilled world-traveller, an incredibly nurturing home-birth and homeschooling mom, and a proficient ashram manager.
While living in San Jose, California in 1979 and working in Redwood City at the R&D lab of Chemelex division of Raychem Incorporated to save up money to purchase a boat with Alan and Barbara Friedman, I found Paramahansa Yogananda's book, Autobiography of a Yogi. Even though it is a fat book I did not want it to end. But it did, so I contacted Yogananda's organization, the Self Realization Fellowship, and paid for their weekly study course for an additional year.
At the end of the year they gave me a written test before revealing to me their core practice of 'Kriya Yoga'. I failed their test.
This was an eye-opener.
I took it as a sign from ECCO (Earth Coincidence Control Office) and stopped my practices to go sailing around the world. Brenda and I had figured out that in order to go sailing into the South Pacific we did not need to build a boat. We did not even need to buy a boat. All we needed was to crew on a boat!
We quit our jobs, bought one-way air tickets to Hawaii, and waited until a sailboat arrived where the crew already hated each other from the psycho-emotional reactions during the physical closeness of sailing over from California and the owner was looking for a new crew. We did not have to wait long...
In September 1981 I was running around Honolulu in a panic, having just a few hours to pack before departing for the South Pacific as crew with my wife Brenda and two other couples on the pink-and-purple hand-crafted 45-foot trimaran christened Moon Dog. The panic was that I did not have a book to read! I found myself at a J. J. Newberry's five-and-dime frantically digging through a pile of pulp-fiction on the discount booktable when my hands miraculously pulled out a hardback copy of In Search of the Miraculous by P. D. Ouspensky. What was that doing there? I bought the book and read it the entire month we were sailing, having no idea how my life was about to change. While I was cherishing the last few pages in Sydney, Australia, our roommates's boyfriend sauntered past and said, "You like that book?""Yes!" I exclaimed fervently. "Then, you need to call Ron Bosanquet. Here is his number."???! So I called Ron Bosanquet, who quietly asked me a couple of questions and then said, "You can meet me at the café."???!! So I met him at the café. After a couple of minutes he said, "You can come. Thursday nights at seven. Here is the address."???!!! So I went there Thursday nights and that is when I first encountered a living school. My life path forked immediately and I changed tracks. Ronald Eric Giffard Bosanquet eventually created Leonis School. He died in Australia, 30 May 2017.
By 1984 we had returned from our round-the-world journey and our first daughter was happily homebirthed. In my spare time I had read every Gurdjieff book I could get my hands on, but still I missed terribly the energetic food I had derived from participating in Ron Bosanquet's living Gurdjieff Foundation School in Sydney. I had visited many Gurdjieff groups in Northern California thinking they would also be alive, but they turned out to be cerebral debate and discussion groups, not at all the same. I had all but given up hope.
One summer afternoon in 1985 we visit an outdoor Tibetan Fair in Berkeley, California. My wife is off with her sister and our daughter. I meander around thinking about the next book I wanted to read: Programming and Metaprogramming in the Human Biocomputer by John C. Lilly. Over on a grassy hillside I see two fine-looking women standing behind an undecorated and unshaded folding-table with paperback books chaotically strewn about it. I stroll over, do not make eye contact, push a few aside and find: The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus by someone named E.J. Gold, and think to myself, "This is it! This is my next book!" I find a second book titled, Secret Talks With Mr. G. whom I presume is Gurdjieff. I pay for the books in cash, turn happily and walk away. One of the women shouts, "Wait!"
I stop and look back, thinking perhaps I had not paid enough. "What?" "You can't walk away!" the woman says. "Why not?" I demand. Of course I can walk away.
There is a moment of stern silence, then she admits, "We have been standing here for three days. You are the first person to even come over and look at these books, and you buy two of them! You think we can just let you walk away like that?"
I have no answer to their question.
She writes furiously on a scrap of paper and says, "You have to call Mike McDonnell!"
With trembling hands I call Mike McDonnell. He says, "Can you meet me in the café?"
I meet him in the café. He says, "Okay, you can come. We meet Thursday nights at seven. Here is the address."
Halleluyah!!! Holy Samolians! Thank Gaia! Gratitude to the Universe! I found another living School! Even now retelling this story so many years later, tears pour from my eyes and my Being celebrates for love of this Work.
During our round-the-world eduvacation-honeymoon from 1981-1983, I gained the practical confidence to follow and support Brenda's impulse to home-birth our two daughters in 1984 and 1987, and to unschool them until they went to Ecole National d'Equitation in Saumur, France. The confidence came from visiting the Akha and Karen Hill Tribes in Northern Thailand, and the Banaue and Sagada villages in North Philippines, and experiencing their Children's culture. The village children from 3 to 12 years old roved the village and surrounding hills as a learning machine. As soon as one of the older children figured something out they would teach it to the ones just younger than them who taught it to the next ones just younger than them. The learning / sharing process was absolutely natural, and so different from modern culture schools which rigidly divide up children by age... that it has led to http://quitschool.mystrikingly.com.
My clarity about children also came in a theoretical sense from studying the following books:
I love the raw realistic weirdness in Philip's speculative fiction novels, some more famous for having been made into films such as Bladerunner, Total Recall,Minority Report, and The Adjustment Bureau.
I read many and recommend them all. However, one of Philip's books particularly changed the location of my assemblage point (to use a Carlos Castaneda term). And, weirdly enough, I could never find the book again to prove it. In one particular paperback edition of one of Philip's novels - I don't remember which - I discovered a one-sentence prelude, seemingly from Philip himself. It did not relate to any of the characters or action in the story. I could not help but instantly memorize Philip's prayer and I continue using it 'til this day. It goes like this: "I wish to encounter a disinhibiting factor that will trigger my anamnesia." Philip died in 1982, at the age of 53, due to complications from a stroke.
I was driving down the freeway in Santa Rosa, California, somewhere around summer of 1987 when a sensation seeped through all my bodies and informed me that it was finally okay for me to go walk barefoot on fire.
I knew I could to it unharmed.
I needed to go walk on fire to confirm and solidify some kind of shift that had been working in me for some years.
I told my wife Brenda, "I'm going to go walk barefoot on fire." She said, "Don't do it."
I told my friend and electonics-prototyping-business-partner Alan Friedman, "I'm going to go to Sacramento and do firewalking." He immediately said, "Don't do it."
I did it anyway. I called up and registered with Jim Peal, someone I'd heard about by word-of-mouth. This was long before internet, so when I arrived at Jim Peal's house I suddenly realized he was black! "Oh my God!" I thought. "He's black! Of course HE can do firewalking! How is he going to make it safe for a white guy like me to go firewalking?"
It was my first moment of fear. Not my last.
After a full day of preparations, building the fire, distilling our intentions, evening finally came. The oak wood coals were raked out into a seven meter strip. We stood in a line at the end of the strip. I was number nineteen, the last one. Jim stood across from us at the other end of the fire. Everyone in front of me made it no problem. I saw them do it. Finally it was my turn. The heat was almost unbearable on my face. I was barefoot with my pants rolled up so my pants would not catch on fire.
I'm a physicist. From a physicist's point of view what I am about to do is insane. This much heat can melt an aluminum can flat in a few seconds.
But I am committed to overcome my knowing.
I am lifting my right foot to make my first step and Jim shouts, "No! Do not look at the fire! Look at me!"
I look up into his eyes and I can feel the space shift. Zing! He and I are now standing together in an entirely different space than the space that was there just a moment before. The coals are between us. In this new space I can walk barefoot across fire and not even the hairs on the back of my toes get singed. Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! I get in line for a second firewalk. Then that is enough. This is when I figured out that the space determines what is possible!
One day while I visited Lee Lozowick at his Arizona Ashram for a celebration he off-handedly asked me, "Why do you do the work that you do?" He was referring to the electromechanical engineering I was doing with my little Computer Effects Comany in Santa Rosa, California, building cutting edge bio-medical research instruments for Polymerase Chain Reaction and Gel-Phase Electrophoresis. I stared at Lee with no answer. Both of us were willing to leave it at that for now. Six months later an answer bubbled up out of my subconscious. It hit me like a locomotive: I to this work because my father does this kind of work. This is not my work.
Nearly overnight I ended Computer Effects Company by giving it to my partner Alan Friedman (who the following year sold a million dollars worth of the 12 Eppendorf Tube Programmable Thermal Cyclers we had invented together and were manufacturing for the DNA research industry...) One night I found a business card in a phone booth that said "Don't ask anyone's permission, just join us and make a million dollars in a year!" Since I did not know what my work was, I thought that I could as least make a lot of money. It turned out to be a really bad idea not to consider this decision my wife at the time.
I jumped full into the multilevel marketing company NuSkin with no idea how to run the business and I lost $60,000 in one year.
Broke, without recourse, I accepted a job offer from my roommate to be his secretary in a tiny Arizona personal transformation training company called Athanor.
Martin Groder, MD, (d. 2007) had created the Asklepieion Therapeutic Community ("Asklepios", Greek for house of cure) in the basement of the maximum security prison at Marion, Illinois. This was the prison the residents of Alkatraz were moved to. Ken was incarcerated at Marion. Together Ken Windes and Martin Groder created 'the Game'.
Purna Steinitz is one of the original students of Lee Lozowick. He had an attraction to the rehabilitation of prisoners, and when he read a newspaper clip that Ken Windes was delivering 'The Game', Purna immediatedly contacted Ken so as to participate. Ken said, "Sure! Put thirty people in a room for the weekend and I'll be there!" Purna got the 'go ahead' from Lee and brought thirty of Lee's students together. Ken saw Purna's potential as a Game Trainer and they began working together. I think it was the second Ken-and-Purna Game in which Brenda participated. I stayed at home with our two lovely wild home-birthed home-schooled girls in Santa Rosa. When Brenda stepped off the bus from Los Angeles, he first sentence was, "You've changed!" My mind was blown. How could she go and go a training and I changed?#!?Her second sentence was, "You need to go be in the next Game." So I did. It took place in Fall 1990 in Los Angeles, with Ken and Purna delivering. It changed my life. One moment, as I was standing in front of a man, my mouth open wordless, my hands gesticulating fiercely, trying to make a difference for him and having no idea how, Ken told me, "You remind me of me when I fist started in the Game..." a prophetic comment.
In 1990 Ken decided to take The Game to Australia and wanted Purna to give Purna's version of the training a new name. He came up with The Event.
After Ken left, Purna's first training partner was seduced by a participant and became unreliable, so Purna needed to build up a new team. This was when he hired me. He was the first man to put me to work as my Archetypal Lineage in action.
I did not know it at the time. I thought I was going to be the secretary and enrollment manager for his fledgling training company New Line Consulting in the cowboy town of Prescott, Arizona. As Purna was delivering The Event in San Francisco, California or Littlerock, Arkansas he would drag me along... 'just to carry the bags'.
One training in San Francisco, after a year of Events, he says, "Clinton, I HAVE to write this important article. This is the only time I can do it. Could you PLEASE just run this one Event session?" I said, "No way!" I was scared shitless.
Back then I was still a nice guy, so I did it anyway.
Of course I fucked it up.
But in the next session I put the demand on all the people I could not help, and bang! Purna got them present, and I thought, "Ahhh! So that's how you do it!"
By 1993 I was delivering Events myself, and almost immediately we got called to deliver trainings in Austria and Germany.
By 1995 I was commuting twice a month to Europe. Either Purna or I had to go over. That's when Lee Lozowick invited Brenda and I to build and manage his new ashram at La Ferme de Jutreau, a 250 year-old farm in Central France. We grabbed our two girls and moved to France in September 1995.
Once I got out of the morphogenetic field of the USA, when I was delivering the Event and went into liquid states I did not have to come back together as an American. I could come back together more and more as my Bright Principles in action. That is when Possibility Management emerged in full force. It did not fit into the Event format.
I could not say it so clearly at the time (1990s), but the quality of listening in the audience largely determines what a speaker can say. That listening can be built - deepened and made more attentive - over time, by building Matrix in the Beings of the people. But one of the greatest gifts a speaker can receive is to speak into the listening of a group of edgeworkers with big Beings and a developed capacity for listening. I received that gift so often in talk spaces in Europe, and, for example, in our 'Morning After' 'Discovers Speaking' talk spaces after Event trainings in America.
After a while I felt a pressure to try to record as many of these talks as I could to try to capture and document the rare abundance of new stuff we were discovering. Often the recording technology would fail in these high energy talk spaces for no apparent reason, meaning they would start mysteriously working again as soon as the talk space was over.
Eventually I found some cassette recording gear that was too 'stupid' to be disrupted by the subtle energies of the talks, and I made it a habit to record what I could of the talks.
Decades went by, and I forgot about these recordings. Then in 2019, while moving from one place to another in Germany and trying to downsize my material possessions, an often repaired American apple box full hundreds of cassette tapes reappeared, like the hand of the corpse floats up at the end of the John Boorman film Deliverance with Burt Reynolds.
What to do with this? Eventually I dug through the entire box and pulled out whatever I estimated might be useful. I purchased a special device for replaying ancient-technology tape cassettes into a computer to digitize the audio into MP3 files.
One-by-one Anne-Chloé Destremau played the cassettes while we were on a writing sabbatical in Bali together. Still today she uploads them to her PodBean account and links them to Next Culture Radio. I find it quite inspiring to re-live those astonishingly abundant moments when extraordinary spaces of clarity and possibility appeared and divulged secrets we are still using today as core distinctions in Possibility Management.
Eric Berne was a thoughtmap maker. He told his research colleagues, "If you can't draw a map of it, don't tell it to me."
One of his most famous thoughtmaps - and the origin of Possibility Management's Ego States thoughtmap - is the Parent Adult Child Ego State thoughtmap he explains in his Earth shaking little book titled: Games People Play, which is required reading for anyone on the Trainer Path.
Fear was at first my enemy. I had developed a survival hero Box. I had to suppress all fear.
Clarity about feelings in The Event and Possibility Management had freed me from the grips of my fears.
Clarity then became my hero, and I had been collecting distinctions for years, as if they could free from every restraint.
But my life was not manifesting those results. I could not 'do' things in the Gurdjieffian sense of the word. The solution became obvious. Learn to work with power. Power became my new hero!
But none of the power is mine. I am not able to use it for me. It is for serve something greater than myself, applying my Archetypal Lineage to create whatever is wanted and needed. Having power is no solution. Collecting power is delusional. What is needed is time to learn elegance, efficiency, tricks, staying unhookable.
That is when the fourth enemy emerges its ugly head. Old age offers excuses to not practice with the necessary diligence.
By listening to Werner's taped talks, reading the transcripts, and personally experiencing the Landmark Forum in 1995 in Phoenix, Arizona, Werner demonstrated to me that there are enough people in the world who love transformational distinctions that it is worth doing whatever it takes to make them available. This is definitely good news for a Memetic Wizard.
Two significant possibilities came to me from reading Mount Analogue a couple times through, especially the end notes.
1. To participate in the work of evolution it is necessary to keep replacing yourself at anything you achieve. This then stabilizes what you have created and frees you to move further up the mountain. This is why I was able to step back as the only Expand The Box trainer and replace myself with a global team of Possibility Management Trainers. The same with Possibility Labs. The same with making space for others to deepen the context of the Possibility Management gameworld.
2. To adopt distinctions as the core currency in archearchal culture of Possibilica. The http://gurdjieff.org website says: In his unfinished novel, Mount Analogue, René Daumal challenges the reader to question what might constitute a trading currency when pursuing esoteric knowledge. His characters discover that “the 'peradam' is the only substance, the only material object whose value is recognized by the guides of Mount Analogue.” A peradam is a radiant dharma jewel... in other words, a distinction!
When rats overpopulate (as humans have already done) all their systems go nuts. The turn gay. They eat their babies. They kill each other for no reason. It seems to be some kind of force of nature, Gaia trying to protect herself or bringing things back to balance. It has been happening since life began on Earth. Now it is happening to humans, by our own hands. I always hoped humans were more intelligent than this and could make smarter choices. Once I had a chance to go on stage in Hamburg with the creator of Family Constellations, Bert Hellinger, in the late 1990s. I stood in a line on the stage in front of 300 or so people (including Lee Lozowick, who was also a 'presenter' at this conference) to ask my question. When it came to be my turn, I sat down next to Bert Hellinger in the chair to his left, facing the audience. He immediately took my right hand in both his hands. I was surprised as he did not do this with any of the other questioners. It felt like he did it because my conscious Gremlin was bigger than the other people's and he could feel this. He did it to connect with my Gremlin so that I knew that I was met on all levels.
My question was a statement: "I feel afraid about human overpopulation."
His answer was a question: "Do you want more?"
I could only sit there while the question hit bottom in me. Finally I could only say, "Yes."
He said, "Any other questions." That was it. I have no answer, but I am careful to stay alert to not be a victim of the insane side-effects of human overpopulation, both inside of myself and from the outside.
I can also say that I hired a private Family Constellation worker in Stuttgart, Germany, for an entire day to work through both my father's side and my mother's side of my family constellation. Although I told no one in my family, in a phone call with my mother a month later, she told me the amazingly good news that my middle brother had suddenly stopped drinking, and my youngest brother had gone clean after being in and out of clinics six times.
Doing Family Constellation (Familienaufstellung in German) is one of the core recommended initiatory processes in Possibility Management.
Personal phone calls, emails, and an interview with robert wolff (he wanted his name to be spelled without capital letters) confirmed that what robert wrote in Original Wisdom and his other books is all true.
Robert made all of his writings free to download from his website http://wildwolff.com. But after Robert died in December 2015 no one took over paying for his domain name and all his writings simply vanished.
I was shocked... shocked and saddened and angered enough about losing these treasures that I build a new website to replace his old one. http://wildwolff.strikingly.com
I have been collecting and uploading any writings people send me that are not already available to the world.
Marion co-creates Puls Der Erde eco-seminar-haus East of Munich, and has invented and produced a powerful emotional-healing board-game called Intensity, available in both English and Deutsch.
We were divorced in December 2015.
01/08/2019 04:30, Valerie Lankford wrote: Dear Clinton, Thank you for your newsletter.
We are moving from the east Coast of the USA to the west coast in the fall to be Near our grand daughter who is very responsive to be 1 year on 23 August 2019.
My husband is also tired of the snow & I am tired of the humidity.
This move Will likely be October or September ‘19. I will also be retiring at that time. Hope you are thriving, dear Clinton, Hugs. Valerie
I wrote back:
I feel so GLAD to hear news from you! I wish that you and I had gotten to speak more in 2007 when I met you in person at the ITAA Conference in San Francisco. I wish you were a neighbor I could invite over to dinner and we could all sit around the table and share stories and those unanswered questions.
I feel glad that you are starting over at a new place. I have been living out of a carry-on bag for 2 years already and it is wonderful to have so little stuff. Right now I am in Bali with a creative colleague Anne-Chloé Destremau. We hacked a 4 month hole into our calendar of talks, workshops, and trainings and are working on books and websites together. It is cheap and warm and totally fun, although humid. We eat a lot of rice and vegetables.
I retired when I was 29 years old. Since then I have been researching, experimenting, inventing trainings and delivering authentic adulthood initiatory processes (http://adulthood.mystrikingly.com - you are on there...) , playing full out.
I have 5 grandchildren living in France from my two homebirthed and homeschooled daughters who married French brothers. I have been a grandfather for a while. We need you as a grandmother. Modern culture needs grandmothers - women who have grown up. I hope that you stay open to being a real grandmother for the village, and now that you are retired you can play full out too!
Thank you for your wish that I am thriving. I would use that word exactly. Life is unbelievably exciting. Two days ago here in Bali we rented a motorcycle and drove up Mount Batur, the big volcano with the lake inside and another volcano inside it that erupted last in 1968. We drove down the steep road into the caldera, turned left, and drove through the small villages of people who are crazy enough to live and grow food inside of a volcano. Then we found the place where millions of big fruit bats hang upside down and sleep together during the day, all squeaking and moving around in their strange ways. It was a wonderful adventure day. Now we are back at building our nearly 400th websites for the free-to-play massively-multiplayer online-and-offline matrix-building thoughtware-upgrade personal-transformation adventure-game called StartOver.xyz.
It is so much Fun!
I send love and respect and hugs to you and your husband. I hope you know how important your 4 Feelings map has been to so many people around the world. I never stop talking about it and teaching people the difference between feelings (http://4feelings.mystrikingly.com) and emotions (http://4emotions.mystrikingly.com), and that is because of you.
I had the honor of participating in one of Stephen Karpman's workshops at the International Transactional Analysis Association Conference in South San Francisco in 2007, the same conference where I got to meet Valerie Lankford. Afterwards I showed Stephen how we he have used his Drama Triangle thoughtmap as the basis for the Map of Possibility, renaming it 'Low Drama' to compare and contrast it with the new thoughtmap of 'High Drama', which runs on Conscious Feelings rather than on Unconscious Emotions. Stephen was simply delighted and gave his full blessings.
I even bought one of Stephen's radiantly nonlinear paintings to give to my friend Purna Steinitz.
Deer & Thunder shows us the way to remember what it is to be a real human being. It shows us the way to return to our true home, our true nature, the place where we are one with the Earth and capable of nourishing all that lives. According to Arkan, technological changes toward cleaner forms of energy production are important, but not enough.
Humanity must undergo a shift in consciousness. In order to continue living on this beautiful planet, our modern cultures need to cultivate a mind and a heart that make the protection of life an incontestable priority.
After our attempt to be accepted as members of the Tempelhof Ecovillage in Germany was denied, Marion and I were strolling through a small German village with Katharina Kaifler, a fellow Possibility Trainer. Out of the blue Marion has this impulse about what we could do next. She says something like, "Let's travel around the world following instructions from Gaia to find breakaway nations willing to Gaian League, as explained in Ross Jackson's book Occupy World Street."
I said, "Great! Let's do it!"
Katharina said, "I'm coming!"
Except for occasional visits from other Possibilitators along the way, no one else joined us.
It seems strange to me that the only three people in the world who would join the Gaian Road Team happened to be walking through the pedestrian zone of a small German village at the same time... How exactly is that possible?
While the Gaian Road Team was delivering a 3-day training to Transactional Analysis therapists near Auckland, New Zealand, I saw a photo of Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee on a book shelf. I knew he was a friend of Lee Lozowick, but I had never met him. While gazing at the photo I experienced an urgent impulse to go see him whenever the Gaian Road Team made it to Northern California.
I tried to get a book review from Orson Scott Card for Conscious Feelingsbefore he was so famous. Orson gave me scathing feedback about the idiocy of trying to get approval from other authors about a book that I wrote. He said the book will either stand by itself, or it won't, regardless of what others say. Orson's feedback woke me up. Fortunately, Conscious Feelings has proven to stand by itself. So have my favorite books from Orson Scott Card: Treason, Ender's Game,
"Science fiction is the first literature that says, 'Tomorrow is going to be different than yestersay. It's going to be a lot different.'"
The most important David Gerrold books for me are the War Against the Chtorr series, especiall Book 3, A Rage for Revenge . I keep pestering David to write episodes 5, 6, and 7 in this pertinent Earth-invaded-by-an-alien-DNA-ecology (much like Earth being invaded by global warming...), and he promises he is working on it... but then I am reminded that I myself have 4 more books to write that are breathing down my neck... What am I doing about that?
“...where I can get prickly and combative is if I’m just called a sci-fi writer. I’m not. I’m a novelist and poet. Don’t shove me into your damn pigeonhole, where I don’t fit, because I’m all over. My tentacles are coming out of the pigeonhole in all directions.”
There are, of course, gaps in this story about where I come from and what has been important to me.
There are still inexplicable secrets and conscious or unconscious exclusions.
I am sure I have forgotten important people who have shaped me, or for whom I cannot find online info to share with you. I think of Mike McDonnell in Santa Rosa. I think of Women friends. I think of my in-laws. I think of rogues, Sangha members, and people it would be better for one reason or another not to introduce you to.
Life is big.
There is so much to explore, and so much that is inexplicable.